Shimmies says #6

"I hate how gum looks like quarters on the sidewalk."

Shimmies Says #5

This was all him:

"I'm gonna use the bear to open the coke bottle! Grraaam nom nom!

The trashcan wants some too!"

*throws bottle cap into trash

"It's the circle of the kitchen"

Shimmies says #4

Waitress- "Here is your Chicken Cannelloni."

"Chicken Pantalones? They're Chicken Pants!"

Crap I hear at work

After the success of Shimmies says, I have been asked to add another segment I would like to call: 


Crap I hear at work

So here is some funny crap I heard at work today : )

 M- "Michael means god like. So I think the middle name of anyone named Michael should be the name of a god."

D- "What is Robert the god of?"

M- "Pancakes."

 

Angry Mornings

I had a dream this morning that involved a quiz about the movie Animal House and a bunch of appliances. The appliances would not stop beeping. They were refrigerators and microwaves and TVs and other random things. I could not get any of them to stop. People started making beeping noises with their mouths too. I remember at one point getting on my knees and begging them to stop.

Then I woke up and realized it was my alarm.

Shimmies Says #3

"You could write a rap song with all the scientific terms for butt."

Shimmies says #2

True story:

"WHEEEEEEEEEEE.....UUUFFF.....OW!"

Jenny- "What happened?!"

"I slid down the stairs."

Jenny- "Why are you wearing a sleeping bag?"

"All my pants are in the wash."